Barriers to Entry volume 3: A man in a man's world

The best way to ensure you never meet women? Never be around women.

With the skill of a well-trained engineer, I have mastered this art over the past 8 or so years of my life.  

From ages 19-21 I served an LDS mission to the beautiful country of Uruguay. I spent every day walking and talking with another man. I slept in the same room with another man.  I am not going to say there were not beautiful women in Uruguay, because there were. Unfortunately, as a missionary, they were not available and I would have been oblivious even if they were.

At age 21 I returned to BYU, land flowing with milk and beautiful women. Of course I was studying engineering. In all my engineering classes there were about three women, all of which had friend-zoned me within about 1 month of my first semester. 

I also took some math classes, which I will admit did have numbers slightly higher than engineering classes. Unfortunately where the quantity was a bit higher, the quality had suffered some as well. Most the girls were married not interested in me or visa versa.

However in the land of mathematics is where I met the one girlfriend I ever had. 

She was perfect. And that is all I am going to say about that, or else I will cry. Actually I already am.

After graduating from BYU I decided to take a few classes at Salt Lake Community College (SLCC). I thought I would take some art classes, because you know for sure there would be plenty of women in art classes right? 

Wrong again. I walk around campus and there are beautiful women everywhere, literally everywhere. I try not to drool, but I would not be surprised if I have a few times while zoned out on campus. So I was all excited going to my film class, just waiting to count the girls. None. Literally none. Oh wait there was one, but it was hard to tell if she was a girl or a guy honestly. So yeah, that sucked. 

Politically I hang out close to the Libertarian camp. In case you were wondering, there are about as many female libertarians as there are female American football players. Well actually that might not be a good comparison, there is a female kicker or two that come up every once in a while.

As there is little hope in the political sphere it is finally time for the go to for finding women, religion. This is the standard place to find beautiful women. And it works if you are Mormon. Singles ward are rank with elegant white females. Every time I think about how few dates I went on with Mormon girls it makes me cry. It also makes me cry with how many beautiful women have yet to have their eyes opened, but I digress.

Religion is not on my side either. Mormon men in their twenties leave the church at about double the rate of Mormon women. Basically post-Mormonism is a giant sausage fest with few melons to sweeten things up. 

So I am left, a twenty-six year old virgin, eager to find someone to love, but unable to find. If I can fix this problem, I will let you know, but there are still many more “barriers to entry” to cover. 

Until next time, 

Yours in virginity, 

The Mormon Virgin.

Helping people stay in the Church

For anyone that follows Mormonism, you know that hundreds of people are leaving the church.  It seems as if the tide of people leaving is not slowing, and is in fact growing. Marlin K. Jensen has noted, “Maybe since Kirtland, we never have had a period of, I’ll call it apostasy, like we’re having right now.” 

So what can members do? How can members plug the holes? By many estimates the number of active members is decreasing at a steady rate. Can this be reversed?

As one who has recently left the church, and one who has talked to scores of others who have left, here is a small suggestion to active members of the church who desire to keep members in the fold.

Do not be critical or judgmental if a member joins or shows support for a liberal element of the Mormon Church such as Ordain Woman, Mormon Stories, etc.

Many members don’t feel at home in mainstream Mormonism. This is a fact. Because of political viewpoint or whatever other reason, many members feel isolated. The question is do these people have a place in the church? That is the question many ask themselves regularly.

Often these members go to Sunstone, or post support for Ordain Women on social media, or read D. Michael Quinn not because they hate the church, but rather because they are looking to find a place in the church. They don’t want to leave. They just want to feel comfortable. They want to feel part of the Church they love. 

 Furthermore often it is not these organizations and people that cause them to lose their faith; it is the reaction of their Mormon friends to their involvement in these groups. Many ex-Mormons I have talked to lost their faith not because of Sunstone or Ordain Women, but rather because of hateful and bigoted responses from members of the church. 

One ex-Mormon I know posted support for Ordain Women on her Facebook page, the comments and messages she received were so negative, hateful, and bigoted that she was out of the church within a week. Literally a week.  It wasn’t the Ordain Woman movement that took her out of the church. When she discovered Ordain Women it actually made her feel more at home in the church, feel like she actually had a place. The Ordain Women movement was keeping her in the church. The comments on her involvement are what drove her out. 

Similarly when people read D. Michael Quinn, or go to Sunstone or participate in the Mormon Stories podcast. These are things they seek out to find a place in the church. Often it is Church Members hostile emotions toward these faithful or semi-faithful groups that drive people away, not the groups themselves. 

Basically the take away is love and support anyone who joins a Gay Mormon, Feminist Mormon, or Intellectual Mormon group. If Members do this perhaps the tide of people leaving will be able to be stemmed, if not the Church will become an ever-shrinking group of people with a very limited ideological view.

Gadgets for site

Esteemed readers,
I hope you are doing well. I am trying to figure what gadgets to include on the site. It seems to be a tossup between "Hot models" "phases of the moon in real time" "Horoscopes" and "quotes from twilight's breaking dawn."  So if you have any suggestions let me know!

And make sure to add me to your feed so you don't miss any important updates about my quest to lose my virginity!

Sincerely,
The Mormon Virgin

A little fantasy

Yeah, so this is what it is going to be like my first time, complete with the red sports car, the gorgeous girl, guys in suits chasing us, dancing Bachata, singing in Spanish, and creating a ring of fire with alcohol. This isn't twitter, but #Awesome.

Barriers to entry: Volume 2, femininity

I’m emotional. I admit it. I am convinced that if you were to record my thoughts and line them up with a whole slew of other people’s recorded thoughts and tried to guess which ones were male thoughts and which ones were female, you would put mine squarely in the female category.

I am feminine in many ways. I like to sing and go to plays and musicals and go dancing. I even write poetry and short stories for God’s sake. And though I feign to admit it, I am kind of into fashion and interior design.

But, just to clarify, I took the test and I am a 0 on the Kinsey scale. That is right 100% completely straight. So straight that arrows admire me.

How is this a “barrier to entry?” Because I am acting like a girl. And girls want the man who is a man. I am the “nice guy” who never goes home with anyone.

I am working at changing this and starting to assert my will more. If it works out I may stop writing this blog, but don’t count on it, as I still have many other “barriers to entry.” (stay tuned!)

The Mormon Virigin takes on rape.

No one I know is as eager to have sex as me. I am a sexual being. I am the first to admit I think about sex often, dream about sexual things, and am loaded with sexual fantasies. I am a 26 year-old male that has been on a 26 year fast from sex. It is getting a big long to say the least. But that doesn’t mean that I could ever, in all of my thoughts even consider being involved in none consensual sex. It does not make any sense whatsoever. 

The beauty of sex is in both sides wanting to be there. That is the excitement. It is a beautiful dance of passion, lust, love, fun, recreation, and so much more. But if someone does not want to be there it is like dancing with a board, and how fun is that? When I have sex I want my partner just as eager and excited to grab my wang as I am to massage her breasts (quite honestly I think I could write a great erotica novel!).  But if the other party was being forced or was not interested, it would lose all excitement and meaning. 

It would be like stealing a piece of cheesecake that you had to dig up from the ground and covered in dirt and worms . It makes no sense. Just wait until you can actually be given a piece of cheesecake on a clean plate and covered with cherries. It is worth waiting for, even if it takes 26 years or your whole damn life. Why would you ever submit yourself to having a crappy, sub-par experience?

If you really just need some place to stick your dick, get a tube of jelly, or some blankets, or a PVC pipe lined with cloth. With a little creativity I am sure you could think of hundreds of things you could use. Seriously what is your fucking problem? There are plenty of places to stick your dick into without having to force someone to surrender their body and mess up their life. You don’t have to force anyone, you will not have any guilt, and you get the same experience. Honestly can non-consensual sex be any better than sticking your wang into a hole in a board?  I don’t think so.

Every woman should be able to choose what dicks go inside of her, and which ones do not. If you need some place to put yours, honestly go find something to put it in or wait for permission.

I have waited too damn long to participate in that glorious thing called sex. I want it to be awesome, and I know it will only be awesome if both parties are down to play. If they are not, then I will not play. That simple. Everyone deserves to have that experience be an awesome one of lust and excitement, not of pain and coercion. We deserve that, every human deserves that, whether they have done it a million times, or, like me, are still waiting and hoping for that chance. Don’t take that away from me or from anyone else. Don’t you dare.

Tweet With Me!

Follow me on Twitter: @MormonVirgin and I will ejaculate some awesome tweets in your direction!

Be a Catholic! Get some action!

So if the new pope hasn't convinced you to become Catholic, maybe this article will.

Also the next series coming soon: The Awkward Mormon Virgin Adventures!

Barriers to Entry volume 1: Duel Maturity

In economics the term “barriers to entry” is often used to describe the difficulty of entering a particular industry.  The term could easily be extrapolated to my situation.

For the next few blog posts I am going to explore a few of my own “barriers to entry.” Today’s topic: mixed maturity.

The sign of maturity is knowing how to act in a given situation. Little children will start laughing and joking and can’t stop, while mature adults are able to laugh at a joke and then get back to work. They can be serious and silly in the same ten-minutes, changing on cue. They have control of their emotions.

And as far as that goes, I’m good. I can laugh hard and then put the game face on and get to work. In most every way, I am quite mature

I can have a half-way decent conversation about: politics, religion, history, literature, science, music, movies, and most other topics of general interest. Generally I am pretty mature, except…sexually.

Sexually I am as immature as a sixteen year old. Why? Because I am a fucking virgin (excuse the ironic pun).

I can’t control those emotions because you can’t control anything you haven’t used. You learn to control a horse by riding it. No amount of book training can make up for getting out in the saddle and riding. You will get bucked a bit and maybe get some bruises, but you will learn.

I haven’t learned. I am sexually ready to explore and live the “teenage dream” but I am not at the maturity of a teenager. I am an adult.

This might not seem like a problem, but it is. Adults expect other adults to behave like adults, in all things. It is a problem of duel maturity. It is like I am looking for a job with a masters in mathematics, but not knowing how to use a basic calculator. It is an awkward mismatch of skills.

The solution, you may be screaming at me, is obvious. “Start using that calculator!” Theoretically simple but in practice is a bit difficult.

Or at least it is until I can overcome my other “barriers to entry” (stay tuned!).

Good-looking? Really? Spread this around. Please.

Most any one that manages to get to my position has to question if there is something wrong with them. Or maybe I’m just strange? Oh wait.

A few people have told me I am a good-looking guy. I am still trying to figure out what their motivation for lying to me was. That way I can trick some more people into doing it.

No, I do not need false compliments... well at least real compliments would be better.

Some people who have called me good-looking were sincere, I think. Perhaps there view was just not the same as most women. I guess some us look through a glass darker than others.

Needless to say, women do not go around throwing themselves at me. And as “throwing oneself” really just sounds like jumping, it might be kind of strange for women to jump at me, or anyone for that matter.

However, I would not mind if it was jumping, falling, hitting, or even just saying hello, if it was a girl, I would be happy, because maybe then I would be well on my way to no longer being able to write this blog.

But as that is not likely to happen, see you next week as I will still be the Mormon virgin.