Barriers to Entry volume 3: A man in a man's world

The best way to ensure you never meet women? Never be around women.

With the skill of a well-trained engineer, I have mastered this art over the past 8 or so years of my life.  

From ages 19-21 I served an LDS mission to the beautiful country of Uruguay. I spent every day walking and talking with another man. I slept in the same room with another man.  I am not going to say there were not beautiful women in Uruguay, because there were. Unfortunately, as a missionary, they were not available and I would have been oblivious even if they were.

At age 21 I returned to BYU, land flowing with milk and beautiful women. Of course I was studying engineering. In all my engineering classes there were about three women, all of which had friend-zoned me within about 1 month of my first semester. 

I also took some math classes, which I will admit did have numbers slightly higher than engineering classes. Unfortunately where the quantity was a bit higher, the quality had suffered some as well. Most the girls were married not interested in me or visa versa.

However in the land of mathematics is where I met the one girlfriend I ever had. 

She was perfect. And that is all I am going to say about that, or else I will cry. Actually I already am.

After graduating from BYU I decided to take a few classes at Salt Lake Community College (SLCC). I thought I would take some art classes, because you know for sure there would be plenty of women in art classes right? 

Wrong again. I walk around campus and there are beautiful women everywhere, literally everywhere. I try not to drool, but I would not be surprised if I have a few times while zoned out on campus. So I was all excited going to my film class, just waiting to count the girls. None. Literally none. Oh wait there was one, but it was hard to tell if she was a girl or a guy honestly. So yeah, that sucked. 

Politically I hang out close to the Libertarian camp. In case you were wondering, there are about as many female libertarians as there are female American football players. Well actually that might not be a good comparison, there is a female kicker or two that come up every once in a while.

As there is little hope in the political sphere it is finally time for the go to for finding women, religion. This is the standard place to find beautiful women. And it works if you are Mormon. Singles ward are rank with elegant white females. Every time I think about how few dates I went on with Mormon girls it makes me cry. It also makes me cry with how many beautiful women have yet to have their eyes opened, but I digress.

Religion is not on my side either. Mormon men in their twenties leave the church at about double the rate of Mormon women. Basically post-Mormonism is a giant sausage fest with few melons to sweeten things up. 

So I am left, a twenty-six year old virgin, eager to find someone to love, but unable to find. If I can fix this problem, I will let you know, but there are still many more “barriers to entry” to cover. 

Until next time, 

Yours in virginity, 

The Mormon Virgin.