Helping people stay in the Church

For anyone that follows Mormonism, you know that hundreds of people are leaving the church.  It seems as if the tide of people leaving is not slowing, and is in fact growing. Marlin K. Jensen has noted, “Maybe since Kirtland, we never have had a period of, I’ll call it apostasy, like we’re having right now.” 

So what can members do? How can members plug the holes? By many estimates the number of active members is decreasing at a steady rate. Can this be reversed?

As one who has recently left the church, and one who has talked to scores of others who have left, here is a small suggestion to active members of the church who desire to keep members in the fold.

Do not be critical or judgmental if a member joins or shows support for a liberal element of the Mormon Church such as Ordain Woman, Mormon Stories, etc.

Many members don’t feel at home in mainstream Mormonism. This is a fact. Because of political viewpoint or whatever other reason, many members feel isolated. The question is do these people have a place in the church? That is the question many ask themselves regularly.

Often these members go to Sunstone, or post support for Ordain Women on social media, or read D. Michael Quinn not because they hate the church, but rather because they are looking to find a place in the church. They don’t want to leave. They just want to feel comfortable. They want to feel part of the Church they love. 

 Furthermore often it is not these organizations and people that cause them to lose their faith; it is the reaction of their Mormon friends to their involvement in these groups. Many ex-Mormons I have talked to lost their faith not because of Sunstone or Ordain Women, but rather because of hateful and bigoted responses from members of the church. 

One ex-Mormon I know posted support for Ordain Women on her Facebook page, the comments and messages she received were so negative, hateful, and bigoted that she was out of the church within a week. Literally a week.  It wasn’t the Ordain Woman movement that took her out of the church. When she discovered Ordain Women it actually made her feel more at home in the church, feel like she actually had a place. The Ordain Women movement was keeping her in the church. The comments on her involvement are what drove her out. 

Similarly when people read D. Michael Quinn, or go to Sunstone or participate in the Mormon Stories podcast. These are things they seek out to find a place in the church. Often it is Church Members hostile emotions toward these faithful or semi-faithful groups that drive people away, not the groups themselves. 

Basically the take away is love and support anyone who joins a Gay Mormon, Feminist Mormon, or Intellectual Mormon group. If Members do this perhaps the tide of people leaving will be able to be stemmed, if not the Church will become an ever-shrinking group of people with a very limited ideological view.